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a funny dialogue ( Chinenglish)

waitress:Hello.
a american:Hi.
waitress:You have what thing?
a american:Can you speak english?
waitress:If I not speak english, I am speaking what?
a american:Can anybody else speak english?
waitress:You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.
a american:Good heavens. Anybody here can speak English?
waitress:Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing?
a american:I want to speak to your head.
waitress:Shit,you speak to my mouth not my head!

another one:
a Chinese child are 10 yesrs old, he have learnt English for one month. one day, he are running on the way home, and he hit an american.
the Chinese Child: I am sorry!
the American: I am sorry too!( the Chinese Child thinks "too" is "two" , his teacher told him to be polite to foreigners )
the Chinese Child: I am sorry three!
the American: What are you sorry for?( the Chinese Child thinks "for" is "four" )
the Chinese Child: I am sorry five!
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